it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
