A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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