i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
