yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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