so that wasnt chicken after all
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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