Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
