Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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