I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
