Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
