Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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