My nipple is on Facebook.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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