spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
