Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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