Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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