the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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