i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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