Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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