Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
