nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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