i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
