yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize