conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
