first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
