Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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