the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
