atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
