playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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