I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
