Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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