whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
