I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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