I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
