I'm so fucking centered right now
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
