I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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