so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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