I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
