someone owes me an orgasm
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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