I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize