i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
