Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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