Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
