is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
