we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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