Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
