if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there was a trapeze. enough said
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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