right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize