Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
