wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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