This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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