That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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