I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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