That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
