She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
