i would punch a child for taco bell
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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