Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Drunk is a universal language darling
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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