Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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