I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
