Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
