So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
