Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I am in a vortex of obligation.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
