seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
