I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My vagina is very pro this idea
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
