i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
