4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
